Note the question mark. That’s the important part. That’s the part that indicates, in some small way, the internal struggle I’m having with taijutsu.
I love the scrapping and the skill building and the mental and physical discipline of taijutsu. I love that I’m more powerful, more flexible, more graceful — mentally as well as physically — than I was before I started. I’m grateful for the cameraderie of the dojo and new friends I’ve made through this martial art.
The hard parts are the questions: Why am I there, at the dojo, in the first place? What am I trying to do? How do I measure myself?
I talked to Greg about this some last night after class. He said that he’s been there too, off and on throughout the time he’s spent working with martial arts. He said it’s no fun for him to have start over in class every seven weeks, and is trying to figure out another way to structure class at Northland.
At the beginning of class, before our parking lot chat, Greg talked about the idea of dojo, what it means and a little bit of where it comes from. These are all things I’ve heard before, but for some reason, they were resonating at a deeper level with me. I found myself sitting in seiza, no treally paying attention to the words Greg was speaking so much as the feeling of them, finding them deep inside. Especially when he talked about Hatsumi Sensei telling everyone in the school to “keep going.”
I think that personal experience was an indicator that I need to keep on keeping on, at least for a little while.