Imma just build The Thing

Every morning, the very first thing I do (other than tell my woman I love her), is have a conversation with myself.

I get my pen (a Pilot G2 #7 in black, thank you very much) and my paper (El Cheapo legal pad in yellow), and I just start writing.

I never know what I’m going to write about or where I’m going to end up. The whole point is to just let my psyche connect with the physical act of writing and try to get my internal editor as much out of the way as possible.

In my conversation this morning, I realized that I have a thing for online content marketing. Like, it’s something that I gravitate toward, that I do anyway.

I have ideas for cool domain names. I grok the basics of traffic building and lead pages and conversion funnels. I already have chunks of social management systems that I use for my own accounts.

I already do this stuff.

Huh. Cool.

The thing I don’t do, that I’m not good at, is being in it for the long haul. Patience is not my strong suit.

I always stop building the thing before it has a chance to get going.

I register a domain name, whip up a WordPress site, post some content, make a couple social media accounts, tie it all together, post some content, and sit back and wonder “Why don’t I have traffic? It’s been like two days!”

I’m in the process of building a new thing. It’s been a month (shut up; it’s New Math). I’m in the “I need to back-fill all this content to support my marketing efforts / I have to write another post about what?” mode. When I looked at my analytics yesterday, I had five visits to the page for the day. I assume they were all from me.

<sigh/>

But!

It’s time for me to hang in there, to get another cuppa, to take a walk and come back, to do whatever it is I need to do to be here for the long game. Because I realized another important thing this morning:

This is a year of foundation building.

This is a year of setting myself up to get what need and want in the future.

This is my year of patience.

Those first few weeks

Me, pretending that I don’t, in fact, want to drink an entire bottle of wine with my large frozen pizza after that goddamn run.

I’m a multi-sport athlete.

I run, bike, cross-country ski, and in my “down” time, I sail, hike, lift weights…

I go.

I do all this stuff because it gets me out into the wide world, where the act of propelling myself merges with the beauty around me and helps me find joy, God, the sheer exultation of being.

And though I’ve been active like this regularly for nearly a half-decade, I have a confession:

The first few weeks of a new season suck.

They suck big, hairy donkey balls.

A little afternoon torture session

I went for my first run in a while today.

Oh, fuck me.

Windy. Cold. Tired. Sore. Runny nose. Need to poop. Whiny. Cold-sweaty. Icy puddles.

And my body isn’t used to moving that way anymore.

We’ve been doing this thing on skis for the last several months, and now you’re asking for what???

My brain, on the other hand, is all like, “Dude. Yesterday you skied 15k. You tellin’ me you can’t jog a measly 5k today? Pffft.”

Shut up, brain.

Be gentle with yourself

It takes time for the body to adjust.

It takes time for the mind to adjust.

It takes time for the spirit to adjust.

When you’re starting a new endeavor, be it sport, business, relationship, job, adventure… give yourself time.

Savor the transition.

Drink a lot of water, and a little wine.

Stretch.

Eat well.

Enjoy your time as a beginner (again).

In the Company of Butter

I am here.

I exist right now, in this place.

My hand is guiding my pen across this paper.

This ink is spreading, seeping into the pores of the yellow cellulose, forever staining it in squiggles and slashes.

I am here, and the time is now.

I have a kettle on the stove, fresh-ground coffee in the press, and a loaf of bread cooking in the over.

The sun is rising. My brain is waking up, too.

Here I am, in this chair, with this pen, making these words.

Soon enough, the kettle will whistle its shrill song.

Soon enough, my mouth will pucker and sip at the morning’s first swallow of warm, bitter coffee.

Soon enough, all the other things will happen today, tomorrow, next week.

But for right now, this moment, my left elbow rests firmly on the kitchen table, supporting my forearm, my hand, my head, my thoughts.

For right now, the small of my back has a tiny ache from a deep night’s sleep.

For right now, a block of butter, softening in the morning’s warmth, keeps me company as I hold off all those other things and just exist.

Here.

Now.

Love School

My old friend and college roomie, Jonathan, was up from Atlanta to visit last night. It’s been a decade since our last visit but we immediately went deep with our conversation.

“What’s the point of all this,” he asked, waving his hand around my small kitchen, but including the whole world; our entire existence. “Why are we here? I’ve been thinking a whole lot about this lately.

“I think it’s to learn to love.”

Continue reading Love School

My personal baseline

What’s your personal baseline? What are those things you must have, you must do? Do you know how to find it?

Here’s my process:

I ask myself a bunch of questions like these…

  • Am I happy?
  • Can I do the things I’d like to do? (Can I chase my dreams? Can I see the sunrise from my yard?)
  • What can I do better?
  • How can I make the world a better place?
  • Do I have what I need?

…and I try to listen closely to the answers. Here are this morning’s:

Continue reading My personal baseline

Keep Fucking Going

This is a note I wrote to myself. But I’m going to share it with you, because just like me, you look like you could use a little motivational kick in the ass, too.

Don’t worry that it’s about writing, because it’s really not. It’s really about anything that’s big, scary, hard. Maybe you’re working on your relationship with someone; Maybe you’re trying to lose weight; Pay down debt; Stay out of the snowbank on turn three of the ice track…

It doesn’t matter. This is for you.

Continue reading Keep Fucking Going

Bucket-list Race – Arrowhead 135

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of the long trail. And in the last couple years, I’ve started to get into long races on some of those trails.

One of the Big Boys of those races is happening right now: the Arrowhead 135.

In fact, some of the racers (the fastest bikers) have already finished it in just 15 hours this year.

But the people I’m really rooting for are still out on the trail with miles to go before they’re done.

I know all you racers are hot, wet, tired, sore, maybe bored… Keep on keeping on!

 

Busy Day

The boys bellied up to the bar at The Rivers Eatery in Cable, WI.
The boys bellied up to the bar at The Rivers Eatery in Cable, WI.

It was a busy day today:

  • Did an upper-body workout
  • Drove 60 miles to fetch newly-stone-ground skis (with boys, who were awesome in the car!)
  • Ate at a new-to-us restaurant and had delicious pizzas
  • Got my VA up and running with a new project
  • Two blog posts and some online social stuff
  • The Day Job

Next up: waxing skis, helping a friend move, finding packed-and-tracked ski trails. Thank goodness that’s not *all* tonight. :p

Poetry, photos, musing

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